May 2017: Aide-de-Camp or NATO spouse?

The recent NATO meeting in Brussels offered some spectacular examples of how gender culture stereotypes remain embedded in our society- whether manifested by the playground bully’s bionic handshake, his predilection for shoving lesser beings out of his way, or in the assumed rivalry between the women who are representing their countries. The sartorial choices of Melania Trump vs Mme Brigitte Macron supposedly provided evidence of the latter. I am sure you will have glimpsed the article in The Daily Telegraph (25 May, 2017) in which it was solemnly noted that, “if there was ever going to be another First Lady to out glam Melania Trump, Brigitte Macron was the woman for the mission”.

Yet within this mis-en-scène was some something far more perplexing for consultants such as ourselves, dedicated, amongst other things, to dismantling assumptions about the way men and women behave in corporate contexts. This concerned the astonishing lack of interest shown by the media regarding the the only man in the line-up of “NATO spouses” (and heaven save us from such nomenclature).

I refer, of course, to Gauthier Destenay, husband of Luxembourg’s openly gay PM, Xavier Bettes. As I was drafting this blog, one article popped up in my in-box, via Gala.fr, in which it was noted that M. Destenay valiantly participated in all activities, including the Magritte Gallery visit and a soirée hosted by HM Queen Mathilde at the Laeken Palace. We know little about Gauthier other than he is a Belgian architect who married the Luxembourg PM in 2015.

Now call me a kill joy, but rather than focusing on the supposed fashion rivalry between Mmes Trump and Macron, (one ostentatiously changed her outfit for the palace reception, the other did not), I could only think of the insightful, articles that might have been written about Gauthier Destenay.

What, for example, is it like, being the first gentleman of Luxembourg ?

What are his interests and passions?

How does he integrate, blend and bond when he is the sole man amongst women at such an event? Does he grit his teeth, smiling and nodding, through all the formalities, or does he genuinely enjoy them? Does he network? Can he bring his professional interests into the political arena?

To me, it was a lost opportunity for the media to acknowledge a lovely case of diversity in the world of diplomacy and politics.

And now it is confession time: when I spotted this photograph, my eye was instinctively drawn to the handsome man at the Magritte Gallery hovering in attendance to the First Ladies. And guess what? I assumed he was an aide-de-camp… never imagining that he was a political husband.